near the end of Fall

certain important things are falling/or rather fell into pieces this week.

• finally contacted my site person for ASB at Chicago.the first person i tried to contact apparently doesn't work there anymore. the second person i have to contact i got his email copied down wrongly the first time i emailed him. so YAY to successful contact!
• declared my double major in Econ.finally after much suspension.
• sort of decides probably(60% confirmation) will graduate in Dec 2010.which is scarily just a year away!
• decides to TRY(this is an important keyword) to find an internship for next spring/summer. it's time to do something REAL and ADULT-Y now that graduation is not far away. (yes, i've been a child all this while at college).
• decides to probably(also with 60% confirmation)retake my failed actuary exam(s) next semester.
• most importantly, is i supposed preparing my heart for my baptism which is next week on Dec 12. i thank God i've been doing quiet time pretty regularly and there's so much that i feel he has revealed to me (both about myself ie. my weaknesses as well as about him).

Of course, nothing is ever perfect. there are aspects in my life of which i am struggling with-

• academic-wise, i am really afraid i will not be able to maintain my GCPA from the previous semester. it has not been really high. hint: B minus range. but i'm contented. however, it has been falling semester after semester. hence, if it falls again, i don't know how...
• relationships-wise, i'm no perfect human, no perfect friend, no perfect daughter, no perfect sister. in juggling with me growing into the person i will grow into, i sometimes neglect my responsibilities to grow into the (almost) perfect friend, daughter, sister. i will continue trying.
• faith-wise, i need to grow more in faith, it's easy to be thankful when things are going okay but there are things to be thankful for when things aren't. these are things i have to look hard for. and to be reminded for as well.
• future-wise, i am afraid of the future. as much as i have faith in God and in myself. i'm not sure if i have as much faith in the way society works these days.

i love you more than the sun

and the stars that i taught how to shine

you are mine, and you shine for me too

i love you yesterday and today

and tomorrow, i'll say it again and again

i love you more

~Matthew West, More~