December 12, 2009

My testimony:

I grew up in a Buddhist family. Since primary school, I have identified myself as one. My parents however, are not religiously strict. When I left home for college, I sort of become religious-less.

At some point of my college life, I totally pushed the idea of the existence of God out of my life. I decided there and then that there was no God. Only I was in charge of my own life. If I fail, it was because I wasn’t good enough. If I was successful, it was because of me and my efforts alone. God has no role in it whatsoever.

Till one day when I failed terribly academically despite having studied hard for the exam. It made me feel like I was at a dead end. I didn’t feel like I have anyone or anything to depend on. I felt like I have no control of my life.

So I started asking questions like “Is this it?”, “Is there more to life?”. And slowly I came to the realization that I am not that great after all.

And at that moment, I started picking up the bible. If felt comforting to read the words, although I didn’t quite understand them. (Later, I learnt that it was a King James version). Then, I started to want to learn more. That led me to lifegroup. Going to lifegroup has been the height of my spiritual experience. It is through lifegroup that I learn to put my faith in God. I the started going to church and subsequently here I am.

I finally accepted Christ. It wasn’t because of any particular one miracle. The conviction is driven by the culmination of the little things. The fact that it felt like God is real and that He is listening when I first prayed out loud. And how God talked to me through others after I prayed for His guidance over an issue I was experiencing. It is also the feeling of security of having someone to depend on. I have God to talk to, to pray to whenever and always.

Believing in God taught me that love is available for all, everywhere, anytime. God taught me to have faith in Him. I believe He has a plan for me, and if I follow Him diligently, I will be alright. He also taught me to believe in that one thing that a lot of people find hard to believe- He himself. I can’t see Him but I can definitely feel Him. His love radiates through His people- the way they worship Him, the intensity of which they pray to Him and the overflowing love they have for one another. These are all real.

These are the things of which make me committed to be one of His. Also, having known Him, I don’t think I can live a day without thinking about God. He has definitely changed my life.